December 21st, 2008 - Adoption Update

I think it’s appropriate to provide some updates as well as begin this story where it began for those of you we have only known us for a short period of time:

More than four years ago our family sensed a calling from God to adopt internationally. The calling was first placed upon Brittany’s heart in Aug ’04 and then Krista in Nov ’04. Neither of them knew that each other was praying about adopting. Krista approached me in late Nov ’04 to ask me to pray as well. As the words left her mouth, I knew that God was at work and the moment I began to pray I knew this was His will for our lives. Just a few weeks later we had a family meeting and informed the girls and before we could finish the conversation, Brittany ran out of the room to find her journal to show that she had been praying for months.

Now, some of you may be asking, “why Russia”? We had known the Mott’s for years and they had just completed an adoption of their son, Bryson, from Russia. I also knew that it was the right place because my grandfather was Russian and had been adopted by an American when he was 18 years old and brought to the U.S. His last name was Marasov and he had to have it legally changed to Lusey to come to the States. These reasons made it clear that God had intended for us to adopt from Russia.

At first, we bought tons of little boy clothing, toys, and accessories. We even had a room ready for him in our home. But before long the months became years. We moved homes and decided not to set aside a room until things seemed to be moving again. There were several incidents of U.S adoptive parents abusing their Russian babies and the Russian government was under extreme pressure to tighten many restrictions on international adoptions. The Russian government has several times since completely stopped international adoptions.

Several times in the past couple of years, I have wondered why God has put us on this path. I have returned to Him in prayer and earnestly sought his guidance and leadership regarding the call he placed in our lives. Each time I ask, I get a clear answer that He has never given up pursuing me and that we are not to give up pursuing adopting an orphan. Over the years, I have become more and more sure that my part in this is to obedient to Him. As the years have passed and we have spent thousands of dollars I have never doubted that we are still following His leadership. At many points along the way we have for obvious reasons had to emotionally detach from the process, but have not stopped praying or pursuing obedience to Him. Our social worker has had to make three visits to our home because our paperwork has expired many times. We have been finger printed by the US Customs/INS many times as well. Krista has filled out more paper work that I remember doing during my six years of college .

Earlier this year, our adoption agency called us and apologized that they still couldn’t overcome the obstacles in Russia. They suggested we actually switch to another agency from California that had established accreditation with the new Russian policies. So we sought God’s wisdom and again felt He was confirming this move. We invested more time and money and continued on this path. Many months passed this year with no movement.

Many of our friends over the years have grown sensitive to not asking about the adoption knowing that our answer has been the same for so long. Friends like Brent and Stacey Davis began this process years after we did and have been blessed with an adopted child already. Brent confessed to me about 6 weeks ago he had wanted to know an update for quite some time, but just didn’t want to cause any grief. I told him that I appreciated his concern and coveted his prayers.

I give you all this background, so that God can be glorified. It is my heart that He is honored and that in his provision for our lives, you see his love, mercy, and grace.

About a month ago, our new agency called and said that we were NEXT on the list. We were excited. We actually never heard anything like that before. We didn’t even really know what that meant. How soon would we receive a call? Days, weeks, months???

Well, this past week was that day. They called on Tuesday and said that another family was in another region and there was a boy. Although, he was not exactly the age range we were asking for and not in the region we were adopting from he was available now. We had a decision to make. Pull our paperwork from our current region and try to submit it to the other region. If we choose to do this our agency would also ask our current region if they had a referral for us before we moved to the other region. It seemed like the right thing to do. We trusted that God had brought us to the point, and we said yes. We did some quick research and learned that this region was nearly 4000 more miles each round trip and also would require another 10 days in Russia on our second trip. This was not optimal, but if this is what God required of us, we would be obedient. I just kept thinking of the lengths that God went through to adopt me into His family. We would make the sacrifice if He wanted us to.

Two days passed, and we received another call. On this past Thursday our agency called and said they actually received a referral our original region! Could this really be happening? After more than four years of waiting? We were also very grateful for not having to travel to the further region and have to be out of country so much longer. The papers were still in Russian, but we would have the translation hopefully before Friday. We called friends, told the girls, called our extended family, and just thanked God for his provision.I had been traveling this past week on business to Atlanta, so much of this communication was with Krista and I apart. That’s what makes the next part of the story even harder.

On Friday morning, Krista called me and she could hardly speak. She had just received the translated referral and it contained the medical records of the boy. He had some very concerning conditions. He had been born 8 weeks prematurely. He had received surgery for a hernia, was diagnosed with dextrocardio, and Trisomy18. She was broken hearted. We had prayed many years ago about the conditions that we were willing to accept through adoption, mostly due to the responsibilities that we already had in raising the two children God had already blessed us with. I was perplexed. I wasn’t even sure what all these conditions were. Krista called a pediatrician to review the records. I prayed to God and asked for wisdom. I realized that I was going to be faced with the toughest decision of my life. Say yes, and potentially accept a little boy that could overwhelm our family emotionally and financially for the rest of our lives. Say no, and wonder if I had made the wrong decision for the rest of my life. I decided that we needed to hear from the pediatrician. In just a few hours, with our stomachs in knots, we heard from the pediatrician. She said that the Trisomy18 was a fatal condition that children rarely survive through birth. He would not live into his teenage years. More confusion set in about why the agency would refer such a child, but I was also grateful that the decision was clear. We emailed the agency back and declined the referral and mentioned the diagnosis of the Trisomy18. Seeing the picture of the little boy and knowing his name only made it more difficult.

I flew home that night to be with my wife and girls. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I also had a deep sense that God had always been in control of these events and Krista and I have sought His wisdom and will the entire way. I came home and just held her. Why had God put us in this strange situation? Turning down this referral also meant that we can only get one more referral and then we must begin all over again, from the beginning of the line, and pay all of the fees all over again.

I woke up yesterday morning and assured my wife that God was still the same God that called us to this adoption more than four years ago and He would work out the details. I was still concerned about the prospects of being put in that situation again and the added pressure of knowing we can only get one more referral.

Yesterday we received word from our agency that they had found errors in the translation of the medical reports. In fact, Trisomy18 was definitely an error. We didn’t receive any more details other than they are reviewing the entire documentation, largely in part because the agency’s employees in Russia were completely surprised that we didn’t want this little boy they recommended. The director of the agency is working hard to see if he can uncover as many corrected details as possible.

So we wait. We wait to hear from our agency. We wait to hear if the little boy has serious medical conditions. We wait to hear from God. I guess this is all very appropriate considering our region in Russia is Smolensk. Smolensk translated into English literally means “waiting”.

In Him we wait,

Chris & Krista Lusey

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