Jan 23rd, 2009 - Adoption Update

Krista usually asks me to write our letters, notes, and emails because she says I’m better with words. I must admit that writing this note has not been easy. I believe the struggle originates from the depth of the emotions I feel tonight, while also trying to convey a message that is both personal and important to share.

A month ago we received a referral from our adoption agency to adopt a young boy from Russia. The referral contained many medical conditions that we were not familiar with, but after consulting with the Agency Director and some local medical professionals, we felt that we had not received any news that would prevent us from accepting the referral. We were advised to ask some more questions about activities related to his development with the intent to get a better idea of his cognitive development. The orphanage was kind enough to send us a full page of some of his activities that included his play time activities, eating habits, and overall character traits. Last week, Krista and I felt compelled to accept the referral, and we began to make all the arrangements to travel to Russia. This week we purchased airline tickets and applied for our time sensitive Visas.

I must, at this time, thank our parents, Rod & Jill Lusey and Jim & Kay Harwood for their love support and generosity towards this calling in our lives. They have all been extremely gracious, loving, caring and often as emotional about this process as we are. We love them and thank them for being such wonderful parents to us. Our prayer is that we would be great children to them and honor them with our lives. Thanks Mom & Dad.

Toward the end of this week we also began to make friends with another couple that just completed an adoption of a young boy from Smolensk, Russia. They have been gracious enough to share their story with us, and also give us some great tips on making the difficult trip to Smolensk. While reviewing their experience we noticed that they used a doctor that specializes in supporting families that are adopting children Internationally. (Krista and I are also sure that this is the same Dr the Mott’s consulted in ‘04 when they adopted Bryson)

Yesterday, we decided we would contact this Doctor and enlist her services for our adoption. The first step was to have a conference call to review all the medical and developmental records in preparation for our first trip. Then, while in country, we would be able to ask more questions and forward information, pictures, and/or video via the internet and talk on the phone to be provided additional advice while in country.

Before I continue the story, I would like to call to your attention that the doctor we are referring to is Dr Julia Bledsoe of the UW MedCenter in Seattle. She specializes in international adoptions, while also running one the most recognized clinics in the world for fetal alcohol syndrome. She consults with nearly 900 families a year that are considering international adoption and is considered one of the top two doctors in the US in this specialty.

We had our call with Dr Bledsoe this afternoon. Krista and I were together and both dialed in from our phones. Dr Bledsoe was very friendly and seemed enthusiastic to be able to speak with us. Krista informed her that she had been nervous about the call. I assumed that Dr Bledsoe would assure her not to be nervous, but in a very sweet and caring voice she said, “well Krista, I have some concerns about this little guy”. It felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Dr Bledsoe spent the next 15 minutes explaining the importance of head circumference in relation to brain growth and that this little boy, while born in a fairly good size range at his 32 week birth, had fallen well below the norm, in fact below the -3% range since. She also pointed out that some of his other diagnoses, in combination with the microcephalic condition, makes him a high risk referral. She continued and specifically stated that this child is “absolutely a moderate to severe special needs child.”

At this point, I think it’s incredibly important to point out that God loves special needs children as much as any of the rest of us, but also that Krista and I have for more than four years been confident that our first priority is to care for Brittany and Alyssa, and not to take on more burden that we can bear or that would significantly take away from the love and time we have for them.

Since Krista and I have been very clear about our desire to adopt a child with mild and/or correctable health conditions, we knew this new information meant that this referral was not the child for our family. I must admit, I wasn’t prepared for the emotional upheaval that would ensue. In some ways I felt as though I had lost a family member. I knew that Krista felt the same way. Once again, we knew that God had called us to this journey, but again were challenged with why these events had occured and why would we be waiting again.

As we felt bewildered and emotionally drained, I began to consider why this had happened. Those of you that know us well, know that we fully believe that God is intimately involved in every detail of life. What purpose could this possibly serve? I prayed, I talked with Krista, and then I began to see some of that purpose.

One of the comments that Dr Bledsoe made was that the degradation of this little boys brain growth could potentially have been reversed if he would have received proper care, nutrition, and stimulation at a very young age. Unfortunately he had not, and thus at an age of three, it is irreversible. While terribly sad for this little boy, it was a reminder of why God had called us to adopt a boy under the age of two. We would like to provide a home for another little boy and be able to prevent the same unfortunate outcome of this first referral. It compels me to ask you to consider what you can do to help orphans around the world, and reminds me of this definition found in the bible:

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. New American Standard Bible : 1995 update. 1995 (Jas 1:27)

Now, I realize that not everyone can go overseas to adopt an underprivileged orphan, but there are many other ways to minister to them. Krista and I have supported Ken Surritte and his ministry for years. He is a dear friend and has given his life to helping children in distress throughout the world. Read more about his organization, Hearts & Hands International (http://www.heartsandhandsinternational.org/). You can also find him under my causes on Facebook.

So for now, Krista and I have notified our agency that we will decline this first referral. We pray that God will lead us to the right child for our family. We are tremendously grateful to all of our family and friends that have prayed, laughed, hugged, and cried with us through this journey. Our hope is that our journey would lead you to our God, Jesus, who wants to adopt you into His family and that our lives would reflect how grateful we are that He has been so incredibly gracious to us.

I think it’s only appropriate to end this note as I did the last. Waiting. We will wait on another referral. We will wait because God has been so clear with us in His instructions to us. We will wait because we know there is a young boy in Russia that can have a bright future because we are waiting for him.

Thank you again for your love, support, and prayers.

Chris

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