Home…well sort of…

After nearly 17 hours in the air yesterday, we arrived home late last night.  The travel gave Krista and I plenty of time to reflect upon the week.  We have begun to realize that the past week has been far more emotional and exciting than we ever expected. 

We both admitted that we never fully expected to fall in love this week.  We have always felt a sense of duty and obedience to care for an orphan and provide when no one else would.  What was we truly underestimated is how quickly and how deeply this little boy would impact our hearts.  On Thursday night, I began to realize that Krista really didn’t want to leave Tomsk without him.  I also found myself entertaining the notion of leaving her there because I didn’t want to leave him either.  We realized that the burden of a 3+ week trip in the near future made it impossible financially to allow Krista to stay indefinitely, but even our consideration made me very aware of the bond that we have already formed with Valera.    So we are home for now, well sort of.  I find that a good portion of my mind and heart are still in the Baby House in Tomsk with Valera.  I know that Krista’s heart and mind never really left.  

As I spoke with friends at church this morning, one of them pointed out something that I also recognized this week.   I have seen a depth of joy in Krista that I don’t recall ever seeing before.  I’m not completely sure how that can be, but I also can’t deny that I have seen her transformed this past week.  Her interaction with Valera has brought out a side of her that I didn’t know existed.   When I realize that God called her to adoption nearly five years ago, I realize that this joy I am witnessing now must also be the fruit of His Spirit in her life.  I must admit, it’s very exciting to see the transformation.  Our friend said the change was so evident that it brought her to tears. 

Even though it was very hard to leave Valera in Tomsk, its been great to see how excited Brittany & Alyssa are.  They already want to go clothes shopping and showed Valera’s pictures to as many people as they could this morning at church.

Well, I will continue to share via the blog over the next couple of weeks as we learn about the timing of the return trip.  Please continue to pray for favor with the courts in Tomsk in order that we might return as soon as possible.  We are hoping a July 6^th pre-court date. 

I also would like you to consider coming to a celebration (shower) on the weekend of June 27/28 to see pictures and videos of Valera and just hang out with us so we can thank you for your support and prayers.  We will post details here as they are finalized.

Thanks again for your love, support, and prayers,

Chris

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Ma..ma!

Orphanage Shoes

While preparing for our adoption, Krista mentioned to me that the judge would ask us in court if we had formed a bond with our child on the first trip.  We thought, how much of a bond can be formed with a child in an orphanage in only a few visits over a three day period?  Now, I realize that after more than four years of waiting for this trip to arrive, it would be quite possible for us, especially Krista, to become emotionally attached in a very short period of time.  In fact, I was surprised how emotional I was after just a few hours with Valera.   As I sat and journaled yesterday morning, I was overwhelmed by how much love I felt for this child, but what really stirred my heart was that I realized that God has adopted me into his family.  If I feel this strongly about a child I’ve never known from a foreign culture, how much more God, who created me, must feel about met.  It was quite an overwhelming realization and still is.  But the question in my mind was: “what does Valera think of us?”  Yesterday morning as we were walking onto the grounds at the Baby House, we noticed that Valera’s group had already been taken out for play time.  Our eyes quickly scanned for him, realizing they aren’t that easy to identify when they all (boys and girls) are wearing bonnets, and noticed him sitting in a large play pen.   He was just sitting all by himself.  No other children had been placed in the pen with him and absolutely no toys in there with him.   His head turn toward us, his face lit up, he jumped to his feet, put his hands in the air and said “ma..ma” and waved to us.  He recognized us (well at least Krista).  It brought tears to our eyes.  A moment I will never forget.  As we made our way around to the gate of their playground, he made his way to the closest corner of the play pen and pulled himself halfway up the side of the crib with both feet off the ground and let out a yell that he wanted out.   Of course they brought him to us and we went off to play with him for the rest of the morning.  He has really become very comfortable around both of us and loves playing some of the same games.  He loves to be chased, blow bubbles, and climb everything.  He also loves kisses.  He just laughs and smiles (mostly at Krista), but only goes to us and not to our agency workers.

While playing with him yesterday morning we noticed that he had a foul smell.  (I know what you’re thinking, but unfortunately this story is much sadder)  We realized that his shoes and socks reeked of urine.  Our agency worker mentioned that the children his age do not wear diapers because it’s too difficult for the workers to keep up with a 15-1 ratio and so if the child doesn’t go potty at the allotted time, they wet themselves, it runs down their legs and into their shoes.  While their clothes are frequently washed, their sock and shoes are apparently not.  Very sad.  We were heartbroken and determined to do what we could to help.  We bought Valera a pair of new shoes and also more than 10 pairs of new socks for his buddies.  The orphanage director did request clothes and shoes, but also mentioned that nothing can be shipped directly to the orphanage due to customs laws.  So we intend to bring back money to go shoe shopping for all the children in the orphanage.  Krista and I ask that you would pray about contributing to a fund for us to purchase new shoes and socks for all the children.  The department stores here are very similar to the ones’ in the US, so new shoes cost about $25 and socks about $2 per pair.  Our coordinator is going to look around for some better deals to prepare for our return trip.

Speaking of our return trip, our coordinator mentioned yesterday that it may be possible for us to return for a court date as early as July 6^th.  We were actually quite shocked, but it will have a lot to do with which judge is assigned to our case.   We think we have about a 50% chance of getting a judge that will be easy to work with.  We ask that you pray for favor with the court system and an opportunity to return as soon as possible. 

As you can only imagine, this trip has been life changing for us.  We knew it would, but had no way to tell how before we actually arrived.  I look forward to sharing with all of you all of the details that have happened and how God has blessed us on this trip.  We don’t look forward to leaving tomorrow, except that we do dearly miss Alyssa and Brittany, and know that it also puts us one step closer to calling Valera our son.

Thank you to so many of you for your love, support, and prayers.   We so look forward to being able to share Valera with you.

Chris

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Valera

Okay…the last 24 hours have been hard to put into words.  I’m sure words like “joy, excitement, amazement, humility, and gratitude” would all be appropriate, but simply not adequate.  We met Valera yesterday afternoon for the first time.  I’m not sure that I will ever be able to accurately describe our emotions when we first saw him.  I’m not sure we could describe his either.  He was reserved, cautious, but opened up when we sat down and starting sharing some toys with him.   Over the first 15 minutes he began to warm up to Krista and then we were invited to take him to the Director’s Office and discuss his personal and medical histories.  The meeting went extremely well and Valera became comfortable with both of us.  By the end of the visit we were so pleased with everything.  The orphanage was decent, the workers seemed genuine and the Director was very easy to talk with (of course, through a translator).   Valera showed far more development than we expected.  He had great fine motor dexterity, problem solving, imitative speech, use of sounds to express himself, and very athletic.  He actually did a chin up on the side of the Director’s desk when he wanted up  (literally pick up both his feet of the floor), not to mention knock at least three chairs over just wanting to rearrange the furniture.   His disposition was excellent as well.  He was very patient and could easily be redirected when needed.   Overall, Krista and I are simply stunned.  We have both spent time praying to God thanking Him for his grace and provision.  We both expressed that we have never felt more undeserving in our lives.  

Today was a great day that included two visits to the orphanage to visit/play with Valera.  He clearly remembered Krista and warmed up to me must faster than yesterday.  We tried to remain a little more low key as to not wear him out too much.  Valera has never had one on one attention in his life and I’m sure our play time with him last night was very exhausting.  We spent 10-11am and 4-5pm today with him both outside and inside.  Both visits were great and we also informed the Director that we will be signing the paperwork tomorrow to notify the courts of our desire to adopt Valera.  We will visit with him at least twice a day for the next two days before travelling home on Saturday.

We are already aware that saying goodbye to him Friday is going to be extremely tough.  I ask that you pray for us and especially Valera.  Please pray that the rest of this process goes smoothly and that we can return as soon as possible to appear before the judge and complete the adoption.

We are so grateful for you love, support, and prayers.

Chris

p.s.  In case you are wondering, we are unable to share any of our pictures of Valera on the internet because he is still in the custody of the Russian Federation.  As soon as we can we will share them with you.  Thanks for the understanding.

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Moscow…

Red Square

First full day in Russia started great. Well, at least well. Krista l started with the obligatory post overseas flight greeting of “are you already awake?” the answer was of course “yes”, too bad it was only 5 am. But things drastically improved from there. 5 miles on the treadmill while Krista was facebooking and then our enormous American style breakfast (included in the room rate) was delivered by room service. We then enjoyed perfect weather and a walk to Red Square to get some great photos and visit St. Basil’s Cathedral and GUM, a very old and beautiful shopping mall. This afternoon we spent some time just resting and getting ready to do what we are really here to do. Not that being a tourist is all that bad, but our calling is to be parents again. So we are eagerly waiting for our driver to take us to the airport for our flight to Tomsk, Siberia…and of course a little boy named Valera.

Chris

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Over the Ocean…

Greenland

Whew, what a trip. Maybe it’s just me, but the trip over the Atlantic seems as long as ever. Then again we have never flown this far east. One thing is for sure…Russians aren’t much for sleeping on the plane. Up all night talking, laughing, and walking around made for a really long 10 1/2 flight. It was super easy to get through Passport Control and also was really nice to see our Limo driver waiting for us with a sign right outside Customs…well worth every penny. We are completely worn out, but took a short walk from our hotel late this afternoon and we are forcing ourselves to stay up as long as possible to adjust to the time change. We are glad to be here, but really are looking forward to Tomsk and getting a chance to do what we are really here to do…meet Valera!

I also underestimated how much we would miss Brittany and Alyssa. We love you girls and we will bring you on the second trip if you want to come!

Thanks to everyone for your prayers. Our trip has actually been very smooth and absolutely zero drama so far!

Thanks again,

Chris

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‘Twas the night before…

It almost feels like the night before Christmas…only more hectic. Several times today we have stopped long enough to look at each other and say, “is this really happening”? It still seems hard to believe that we are going to board a plane for Russia tomorrow on our long journey to adopting a son. This journey began nearly five years ago and quite frankly, I personally spent many of those years in disbelief that this day would ever come.
Today has been filled with emotion, but also a sense of calmness I didn’t expect. Almost like I can feel that someone is watching out for us. Maybe it’s because I know that this endeavor wasn’t really our idea to begin with. Many of you that have known us for our nearly 17 years of marriage also know that our lives have been very blessed with our beautiful daughters, a great church family, and flourishing careers…but God wasn’t done with our family. He had a bigger plan in mind.
That plan now has a name. Valera. He’s 18 months old and has no idea how much his life is going to change. Sounds familiar doesn’t it? How many times in your life have you had no idea what was about to happen and how it would change the course of your life and possibly your eternity? This is the part that encourages me that I’m a part of something that God is doing. He is changing our family just as much as he will change Valera’s life. For that, we are all grateful.
Well… I’ve got to get back to packing… and hopefully the next post I will send just walking distance from Red Square.

Thanks for all your support and prayers,

Chris

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May 14th, 2009 - Adoption Update

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Feb 3rd, 2009 - Adoption Update

I would first like to thank all of you for your prayer, love, and support over the past few weeks and months. Krista and I have been overwhelmed by the amount of people that have contacted us and shared their love and support.

Krista and I received another referral for a little boy yesterday and the accompanying translated medical records this morning. As most of you know we still have the travel arrangements to leave this Saturday from our first referral and were advised to keep them until we received this referral. Unfortunately, the medical report didn’t look positive when Krista and I took a glance before forwarding to Dr Bledsoe. As we expected, Dr Bledsoe advised that a conference call was not necessary, due to the severe medical conditions in the medical report. She quickly diagnosed him with the following conditions: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Spina bifida, and Microcephaly. As we did with the first referral, we declined this referral due to the severity of his medical conditions. We both spoke with the Director from our adoption agency and didn’t receive any positive news about the prospects for receiving another referral. As we have faced so many times before, we must continue to wait. We also face the financial strain of having to change our plane tickets, purchase new visas, and even pay for the documentation to decline the referral. Those challenges aren’t nearly as significant as the emotional strain of saying no to another child and not receiving any encouragement towards a healthier referral. We are grateful that we are in agreement with each other in the type of referral we requested, knowing that it is still what we were called to more than four years ago. So we continue to pray that God would lead us to the child that he has prepared for our family.

Krista and I appreciate your love and prayers more than we could ever express.

Chris

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Jan 23rd, 2009 - Adoption Update

Krista usually asks me to write our letters, notes, and emails because she says I’m better with words. I must admit that writing this note has not been easy. I believe the struggle originates from the depth of the emotions I feel tonight, while also trying to convey a message that is both personal and important to share.

A month ago we received a referral from our adoption agency to adopt a young boy from Russia. The referral contained many medical conditions that we were not familiar with, but after consulting with the Agency Director and some local medical professionals, we felt that we had not received any news that would prevent us from accepting the referral. We were advised to ask some more questions about activities related to his development with the intent to get a better idea of his cognitive development. The orphanage was kind enough to send us a full page of some of his activities that included his play time activities, eating habits, and overall character traits. Last week, Krista and I felt compelled to accept the referral, and we began to make all the arrangements to travel to Russia. This week we purchased airline tickets and applied for our time sensitive Visas.

I must, at this time, thank our parents, Rod & Jill Lusey and Jim & Kay Harwood for their love support and generosity towards this calling in our lives. They have all been extremely gracious, loving, caring and often as emotional about this process as we are. We love them and thank them for being such wonderful parents to us. Our prayer is that we would be great children to them and honor them with our lives. Thanks Mom & Dad.

Toward the end of this week we also began to make friends with another couple that just completed an adoption of a young boy from Smolensk, Russia. They have been gracious enough to share their story with us, and also give us some great tips on making the difficult trip to Smolensk. While reviewing their experience we noticed that they used a doctor that specializes in supporting families that are adopting children Internationally. (Krista and I are also sure that this is the same Dr the Mott’s consulted in ‘04 when they adopted Bryson)

Yesterday, we decided we would contact this Doctor and enlist her services for our adoption. The first step was to have a conference call to review all the medical and developmental records in preparation for our first trip. Then, while in country, we would be able to ask more questions and forward information, pictures, and/or video via the internet and talk on the phone to be provided additional advice while in country.

Before I continue the story, I would like to call to your attention that the doctor we are referring to is Dr Julia Bledsoe of the UW MedCenter in Seattle. She specializes in international adoptions, while also running one the most recognized clinics in the world for fetal alcohol syndrome. She consults with nearly 900 families a year that are considering international adoption and is considered one of the top two doctors in the US in this specialty.

We had our call with Dr Bledsoe this afternoon. Krista and I were together and both dialed in from our phones. Dr Bledsoe was very friendly and seemed enthusiastic to be able to speak with us. Krista informed her that she had been nervous about the call. I assumed that Dr Bledsoe would assure her not to be nervous, but in a very sweet and caring voice she said, “well Krista, I have some concerns about this little guy”. It felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Dr Bledsoe spent the next 15 minutes explaining the importance of head circumference in relation to brain growth and that this little boy, while born in a fairly good size range at his 32 week birth, had fallen well below the norm, in fact below the -3% range since. She also pointed out that some of his other diagnoses, in combination with the microcephalic condition, makes him a high risk referral. She continued and specifically stated that this child is “absolutely a moderate to severe special needs child.”

At this point, I think it’s incredibly important to point out that God loves special needs children as much as any of the rest of us, but also that Krista and I have for more than four years been confident that our first priority is to care for Brittany and Alyssa, and not to take on more burden that we can bear or that would significantly take away from the love and time we have for them.

Since Krista and I have been very clear about our desire to adopt a child with mild and/or correctable health conditions, we knew this new information meant that this referral was not the child for our family. I must admit, I wasn’t prepared for the emotional upheaval that would ensue. In some ways I felt as though I had lost a family member. I knew that Krista felt the same way. Once again, we knew that God had called us to this journey, but again were challenged with why these events had occured and why would we be waiting again.

As we felt bewildered and emotionally drained, I began to consider why this had happened. Those of you that know us well, know that we fully believe that God is intimately involved in every detail of life. What purpose could this possibly serve? I prayed, I talked with Krista, and then I began to see some of that purpose.

One of the comments that Dr Bledsoe made was that the degradation of this little boys brain growth could potentially have been reversed if he would have received proper care, nutrition, and stimulation at a very young age. Unfortunately he had not, and thus at an age of three, it is irreversible. While terribly sad for this little boy, it was a reminder of why God had called us to adopt a boy under the age of two. We would like to provide a home for another little boy and be able to prevent the same unfortunate outcome of this first referral. It compels me to ask you to consider what you can do to help orphans around the world, and reminds me of this definition found in the bible:

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. New American Standard Bible : 1995 update. 1995 (Jas 1:27)

Now, I realize that not everyone can go overseas to adopt an underprivileged orphan, but there are many other ways to minister to them. Krista and I have supported Ken Surritte and his ministry for years. He is a dear friend and has given his life to helping children in distress throughout the world. Read more about his organization, Hearts & Hands International (http://www.heartsandhandsinternational.org/). You can also find him under my causes on Facebook.

So for now, Krista and I have notified our agency that we will decline this first referral. We pray that God will lead us to the right child for our family. We are tremendously grateful to all of our family and friends that have prayed, laughed, hugged, and cried with us through this journey. Our hope is that our journey would lead you to our God, Jesus, who wants to adopt you into His family and that our lives would reflect how grateful we are that He has been so incredibly gracious to us.

I think it’s only appropriate to end this note as I did the last. Waiting. We will wait on another referral. We will wait because God has been so clear with us in His instructions to us. We will wait because we know there is a young boy in Russia that can have a bright future because we are waiting for him.

Thank you again for your love, support, and prayers.

Chris

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December 21st, 2008 - Adoption Update

I think it’s appropriate to provide some updates as well as begin this story where it began for those of you we have only known us for a short period of time:

More than four years ago our family sensed a calling from God to adopt internationally. The calling was first placed upon Brittany’s heart in Aug ’04 and then Krista in Nov ’04. Neither of them knew that each other was praying about adopting. Krista approached me in late Nov ’04 to ask me to pray as well. As the words left her mouth, I knew that God was at work and the moment I began to pray I knew this was His will for our lives. Just a few weeks later we had a family meeting and informed the girls and before we could finish the conversation, Brittany ran out of the room to find her journal to show that she had been praying for months.

Now, some of you may be asking, “why Russia”? We had known the Mott’s for years and they had just completed an adoption of their son, Bryson, from Russia. I also knew that it was the right place because my grandfather was Russian and had been adopted by an American when he was 18 years old and brought to the U.S. His last name was Marasov and he had to have it legally changed to Lusey to come to the States. These reasons made it clear that God had intended for us to adopt from Russia.

At first, we bought tons of little boy clothing, toys, and accessories. We even had a room ready for him in our home. But before long the months became years. We moved homes and decided not to set aside a room until things seemed to be moving again. There were several incidents of U.S adoptive parents abusing their Russian babies and the Russian government was under extreme pressure to tighten many restrictions on international adoptions. The Russian government has several times since completely stopped international adoptions.

Several times in the past couple of years, I have wondered why God has put us on this path. I have returned to Him in prayer and earnestly sought his guidance and leadership regarding the call he placed in our lives. Each time I ask, I get a clear answer that He has never given up pursuing me and that we are not to give up pursuing adopting an orphan. Over the years, I have become more and more sure that my part in this is to obedient to Him. As the years have passed and we have spent thousands of dollars I have never doubted that we are still following His leadership. At many points along the way we have for obvious reasons had to emotionally detach from the process, but have not stopped praying or pursuing obedience to Him. Our social worker has had to make three visits to our home because our paperwork has expired many times. We have been finger printed by the US Customs/INS many times as well. Krista has filled out more paper work that I remember doing during my six years of college .

Earlier this year, our adoption agency called us and apologized that they still couldn’t overcome the obstacles in Russia. They suggested we actually switch to another agency from California that had established accreditation with the new Russian policies. So we sought God’s wisdom and again felt He was confirming this move. We invested more time and money and continued on this path. Many months passed this year with no movement.

Many of our friends over the years have grown sensitive to not asking about the adoption knowing that our answer has been the same for so long. Friends like Brent and Stacey Davis began this process years after we did and have been blessed with an adopted child already. Brent confessed to me about 6 weeks ago he had wanted to know an update for quite some time, but just didn’t want to cause any grief. I told him that I appreciated his concern and coveted his prayers.

I give you all this background, so that God can be glorified. It is my heart that He is honored and that in his provision for our lives, you see his love, mercy, and grace.

About a month ago, our new agency called and said that we were NEXT on the list. We were excited. We actually never heard anything like that before. We didn’t even really know what that meant. How soon would we receive a call? Days, weeks, months???

Well, this past week was that day. They called on Tuesday and said that another family was in another region and there was a boy. Although, he was not exactly the age range we were asking for and not in the region we were adopting from he was available now. We had a decision to make. Pull our paperwork from our current region and try to submit it to the other region. If we choose to do this our agency would also ask our current region if they had a referral for us before we moved to the other region. It seemed like the right thing to do. We trusted that God had brought us to the point, and we said yes. We did some quick research and learned that this region was nearly 4000 more miles each round trip and also would require another 10 days in Russia on our second trip. This was not optimal, but if this is what God required of us, we would be obedient. I just kept thinking of the lengths that God went through to adopt me into His family. We would make the sacrifice if He wanted us to.

Two days passed, and we received another call. On this past Thursday our agency called and said they actually received a referral our original region! Could this really be happening? After more than four years of waiting? We were also very grateful for not having to travel to the further region and have to be out of country so much longer. The papers were still in Russian, but we would have the translation hopefully before Friday. We called friends, told the girls, called our extended family, and just thanked God for his provision.I had been traveling this past week on business to Atlanta, so much of this communication was with Krista and I apart. That’s what makes the next part of the story even harder.

On Friday morning, Krista called me and she could hardly speak. She had just received the translated referral and it contained the medical records of the boy. He had some very concerning conditions. He had been born 8 weeks prematurely. He had received surgery for a hernia, was diagnosed with dextrocardio, and Trisomy18. She was broken hearted. We had prayed many years ago about the conditions that we were willing to accept through adoption, mostly due to the responsibilities that we already had in raising the two children God had already blessed us with. I was perplexed. I wasn’t even sure what all these conditions were. Krista called a pediatrician to review the records. I prayed to God and asked for wisdom. I realized that I was going to be faced with the toughest decision of my life. Say yes, and potentially accept a little boy that could overwhelm our family emotionally and financially for the rest of our lives. Say no, and wonder if I had made the wrong decision for the rest of my life. I decided that we needed to hear from the pediatrician. In just a few hours, with our stomachs in knots, we heard from the pediatrician. She said that the Trisomy18 was a fatal condition that children rarely survive through birth. He would not live into his teenage years. More confusion set in about why the agency would refer such a child, but I was also grateful that the decision was clear. We emailed the agency back and declined the referral and mentioned the diagnosis of the Trisomy18. Seeing the picture of the little boy and knowing his name only made it more difficult.

I flew home that night to be with my wife and girls. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I also had a deep sense that God had always been in control of these events and Krista and I have sought His wisdom and will the entire way. I came home and just held her. Why had God put us in this strange situation? Turning down this referral also meant that we can only get one more referral and then we must begin all over again, from the beginning of the line, and pay all of the fees all over again.

I woke up yesterday morning and assured my wife that God was still the same God that called us to this adoption more than four years ago and He would work out the details. I was still concerned about the prospects of being put in that situation again and the added pressure of knowing we can only get one more referral.

Yesterday we received word from our agency that they had found errors in the translation of the medical reports. In fact, Trisomy18 was definitely an error. We didn’t receive any more details other than they are reviewing the entire documentation, largely in part because the agency’s employees in Russia were completely surprised that we didn’t want this little boy they recommended. The director of the agency is working hard to see if he can uncover as many corrected details as possible.

So we wait. We wait to hear from our agency. We wait to hear if the little boy has serious medical conditions. We wait to hear from God. I guess this is all very appropriate considering our region in Russia is Smolensk. Smolensk translated into English literally means “waiting”.

In Him we wait,

Chris & Krista Lusey

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